Remember folks: Pop music is all about charisma and performance. To that end “Cash Me Ousside” teen Danielle Bregoli’s hip-hop debut, “These Heaux,” proves she may just be the next great white rap one-summer-wonder à la Iggy Azalea.
The music video has been viewed more than 4.2 million times since its release this week, and is trending on YouTube. Her rap moniker is “Bhad Bhabie,” and if I was her freshman English teacher I’d be blown away by the effort, genre expertise, and self-aware themes. She’d get high praise at parents’ night, and I’d encourage her expressionist creativity. A+
Just watch her below, predicting her backlash, with parents picketing her all-American catchphrase. Like Guns N’ Roses calling its shot and filming the “Paradise City” video while the band opened for Aerosmith to make its crowd looked bigger, so too is Bregoli showing you an alternate near future in which she’s already ascended. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Of course, the trap song wouldn’t stand out if Bregoli wasn’t a quirky, white teen who since last year has been a living meme who co-opts Black culture. Her appearance on Dr. Phil in September 2016 made her the answer to Bart Simpson circa “I Didn’t Do It.” But where “Damn, Daniel,” Ken Bone, and Chewbacca Mom went on Ellen and lent their flickering wattage to anyone with a checkbook, Bregoli is trying. She scrapped a recent tour to presumably work on her music. Her YouTube channel is as pointless as it is sustainable, and yet she chooses to follow her dreams.
As Dr. Dre rapped on “Guilty Conscience”: “Yo, this girl’s only 15 years old. You shouldn’t take advantage of her, it’s not fair.” OK, Bregoli is actually 14, and while hearing her rap from the perspective of an adult who dislikes Instagram models is jarring, she has an interesting, anti-establishment attitude toward her newfound celebrity lifestyle. It will serve her well as she attempts to parlay her 15 minutes of fame into a strong SoundCloud EP.
“u ready for some more music????” Bregoli asks in the comments of her video. Sure am.