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Sharpay Was The Real Victim Of ‘High School Musical’ & Our Entire Lives Have Been A Lie

This week Twitter was responsible for bringing us two major scandals: the Trump-Russia intelligence leak and the ultimate conspiracy theory. Experts have yet to determine which one is more relevant to Americans. The WikiLeaks of mid-2000s pop-culture aka @SHARPAYSAVICTIM (but was the real victim the excessive capital letters?) posted an incredibly detailed Tweet storm about why Sharpay Evans was the real victim of .

Obviously this flies in the face of the conventional wisdom we’ve all been indoctrinated with: Sharpay was the betch of East High. Naturally we decided to respond to this shocking revelation. So turn on the soundtrack and buckle up.

The whole premise of the film that launched our love affairs with Zac Efron was that Troy and Gabriella like to sing and want to perform in the spring musical. But their friends aren’t supportive and they’re afraid of messing with the status quo. Let’s take a moment of silence for everyone who performed a flash mob to “Stick to the Status Quo.” As they fall in like, they defy their cliques, successfully audition for the musical, and transform the East Side social dynamics. What an incredible fantasy film.

Through all of this Sharpay aka Ashley Tisdale tries to preserve the clique system, because in her immortal words: “This is not what I want. This is not what I planned. And I just have to say, I do not understand.” Aka all of us whenever we are mildly inconvenienced. 

But according to this conspiracy theory, Sharpay had been training for her entire life to be successful in theatre while Gabriella waltzes onto the stage without a costume or choreography and wins Sharpay’s role in the musical. Maybe Sharpay wasn’t being a bitch to Gabriella when she suggested she try out for a supporting role, since Gabriella’s only musical theatre experience was doing karaoke approximately once. Although she does get credit for doing that sober. She could have been trying to encourage the new girl to slowly get involved in the theatre world.

Maybe Sharpay wanted to test Gabriella and Troy’s dedication to being in the musical by asking Ms. Darbus to change the date of the callbacks. That doesn’t seem like a bad idea considering that Sharpay is fucking obsessed with this musical, and Gabriella is only willing to take a 5 minute break from her chemistry competition for something she is allegedly so passionate about.

But the strongest point of this argument is that Sharpay and Ryan’s “Bop To the Top” audition was more impressive than anything on (hi Nick), while Gabriella’s attention-whore version of stage fright proved she was probably not the best choice for the lead role in a musical. Ms. Darbus’s bullshit People’s Choice Awards let the student body decide who should be in the musical. And because approximately zero people give a shit about Sharpay while Troy and Gabriella formed the perfect clique coalition of athletes and smart kids, they win.

So basically, Sharpay can’t be the HBIC if her entire life plan gets derailed by a guy who goes to elaborate lengths just to hook up with the new girl. She was Rachel Barry in season 1, but because she was blonde, wore pink, and drove a nice car we were all convinced she was a betch. Wake the fuck up America: A theatre freak with zebra highlights, no social capital, and no Plan B is not betchy.

Ashley Tisdale agrees that Sharpay was a victim, mostly because her parents named her Sharpay. How did I never realize that Sharpay is to Sharpie like Tarjay is to Target? Like her parents were inspired by the way middle-aged divorces pronounce a chain store name in flyover states.  She was definitely going to have an uphill battle.

The Twitter rant goes on to cover the second and third movies, and if you want to read a short novel about the greatest injustice on Disney Channel since they wrote off Miranda from the Lizzie McGuire movie go to Twitter. Otherwise, pour yourself a glass of wine and sing “Breaking Free”don’t pretend you don’t still remember every word. 

Read more: http://www.betches.com/sharpay-high-school-musical-victim

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